I wanted to share a God-written love story with you all. I'm not married yet, so this won't be about me. It's about a couple who has inspired and taught me so much—my parents! They met when they were kids, as their two families were both new Christians and they would fellowship from time to time. My mom was friends with some of my dad's sisters (he has 6 sisters!) and saw him as a friend. However, she admired his godly qualities and obedience to his parents from a young age. They got to know each other in group settings and were pretty good friends. My dad told me that he secretly admired my mom too, but was scared he didn't have a chance with her. When he was 16 years old, he left from Mexico to the USA to start working. My mom's hopes were almost lost...in her mind she thought, "surely he'll find someone over there!" I'm not sure how much time passed, but God used one of my aunts to encourage my dad to write my mom a post card. (Thank you, tia Mela-love you!)
And guess what—she wrote back! Thus began a 3-year correspondence of letters from Mexico to the US. In all the time they courted, they only talked on the phone three times and saw each other ONCE in Mexico. Imagine that!!!
There are many more details to their story, but I'll keep it short. ;) Fast forward through time...they have now been happily married for 23 years.
They have a beautiful, God-centered marriage, and their love for one another has grown. They're by no means perfect, but I've learned so much from their example and words of wisdom.
Here are FIVE things I've learned from my parents' marriage:
- Keep God first, pray for each other, and live out biblical manhood + womanhood. My father is the leader, protector, & provider. My mother is his helpmeet, she lovingly submits, and takes care of the home. They both submit to God.
- Humility is key. Whenever one of them unintentionally hurts the other or has a misunderstanding, they quickly resolve it!
- Be loyal + respectful. Something my mom has told me time and time again is to never make fun of your spouse. They're trusting you with their flaws, their strengths and their weaknesses. You're the person that knows them best, so to publicly humiliate or lightly joke about something they struggle with can cause their trust to be broken. You're on the same team—support each other always and stay loyal.
- Stay sweet. Just because you're not dating/courting anymore doesn't mean you can't surprise them. Sometimes my mom hides little love notes in my dad's lunch, writes on the peel of his fruit (works best with bananas), or in between his folded clothes in luggage when he travels.
She asks him what he wants to eat and surprises him with his favorite meal or dessert. Sometimes my dad will give her compliments in front of us kids, take out the trash for her, help with the dishes, or send an encouraging scripture, or sweet text. They're so cute! - Be selfless and giving. Give more than you take. Put the needs of the other person before your own. Don't just say that you love them--show it! ❤️
Well there you go, FIVE little things I've learned watching my parents' marriage. A lot of these principles also apply to the way we treat others. I get to practice humility and forgiving quickly with my siblings, to not make fun of them or point out their flaws, to surprise them with little notes of encouragement, not talk bad about each other, to support and love one another no matter what. It's good to practice now and be prepared to selflessly love another human being in the future! The way you treat your family will later transfer over to the way you treat your spouse. God bless you all, may His love and strength be with you!
Learning little by little,
Jas
What's something you've learned from your parents (or from your own marriage if you're married)? Comment down below!